Creative

I need to start doing something new with my life. I should not just focus on my work and family. I need to explore the world. Alamak!!! How to?? I've been doing the same thing since forever. I wake up, go to school now work, come back, eat and sleep. I've been doing it for the last 25 years of my life. I feel like a robot. Gila la..macam mana ni. Lately, I feel that my life doesn't have any value. I don't feel like my existence in this world lead to nothing. I need to be creative. Haish, tu yang susah tu.

I remembered when I was little, there always a lot of things to do. I was engaged with many things such as my taekwando class, badminton training and lots of things. But now, nak keluar rumah pun macam susah. Haish. When talking about being creative, I always wanted to do something creatively. But to be honest, I am not creative. I can't draw, I can't write creatively or play any music. I used to be in a choir group. But that one is past memory. I have a very creative family. My mum and dad are creative. Their art works are to die for. My brothers and little sister are creative. They are a good writer, painter and even a good musician though they didn't pursue it professionally. But when it comes to me..I have na-da..Nothing. If I try to draw a tree, it would turn out to be something else. I have an acoustic guitar, a gift from my dad. But it has been sitting in the cupboard waiting to be played. Last year, I thought of enrolling myself to a guitar class. Sampai sekarang tak enroll lagi.

I realised that my work has started to take chunk of my time. And the impact is major on my life (I've been losing and gaining weight for the past 3 months...GILA!!!). I have been distancing myself with my friends coz I don't have the time to go out. All I want to do is sleep all day long. Hurm maybe I should start doing something new. Maybe I should enroll myself for Guitar lesson or maybe dancing (ehem...badan dah macam kayu ada hati plak)..

2011 is getting closer and I really need to think of something creative to do...I am open to any suggestion coz I really need to do this thing badly to keep my sanity intact. Tolonglah!!!

Open letter to Makcik

Caution: This post may sound a bit emotional. Dedicated to all my makciks where ever you are. No matter whether you in Kelantan, Kedah or Thailand.

Dear Mak Cik,

Its been approximate 10 years since we last saw each other, or maybe 15..I dunno coz I don't even keep track..I guess you are not that important to me or my life. You may be my mum or dad's sister but that is the only way we ever connected. You come so suddenly and acted like you know everything about me. Newsflash, you don't know me at all!! What's that about me not having boyfriend at the age of 25?? Which century have you been living in? And who are you to try to be my match maker??? I don't care if you have a guy at the corner of your housing estate. I don't even care if his single. I don't want to be involved in this absurd activity.

Makcik, stop pressuring my mum and dad. When you pressure Cik Nah, Cik In will double pressure..And when Cik In pressure, I don't think you want to sit around and see what happen.. And what is that about banker and the reason of me not having a boyfriend? Apa kaitan guys don't want to be my boyfriend sebab me being Banker??That is so shallow. Takkan la lelaki tu nak judge me because of my work. And if there is a guy like that, should I leave my job just because you think I need a husband. Peduli la if I came back home at 1 a.m. Who cares if I have to work on Saturday or Sunday. The last time I check my pay slip, you are not the one who's been paying me.

I also had enough of you condemning the way I dressed and they way I act. So what if I always wear pants to work?? So what if I don't wear baju kurung? I'm not asking you to pay my lifestyle nor did I ever ask you to pay my lunch. If a guy don't like the way I dressed, then too bad..I am what I am. I don't live in this world to please you or every one else. I live just for me.

Don't be afraid if I still don't have boyfriend at the age of 25 or I don't have a clue of what type of guy I like. I know that most of my cousins got married at the average age of 20 but I have my own vision and it does not have you inside it. I know you just being jealous coz I earned thousands of Ringgit a month while your daughter is waiting for her husband to give her money for clothing and milk formula while nursing her 4 and a half kids at the age of 23. I'm not gonna be like her. My parent spent a lot of money for me to get to where I am. I'm not wasting it to trivial things like that.

Makcik, I may one day have a husband or maybe I don't. If I do, I will try my best to be a good wife and mother and if I don't I will always be happy in what I got. Rather you keep on being worry about me, I would like to suggest that you start worry of the baby making machine that you have there. We don't want to add on the human population with limited resources, don't we??

Regards xoxo,
Your rebellious niece (^_^)