Office Politic

I've been a banker for 2 years, 3 months and 26 days. I joined my current organisation right after I graduated since I was their scholarship holder (by hook or by crook, I have to join them). I have been dreaming of joining this organisation since I was a little girl where I used to follow my dad, who also work in the same place (but don't get me wrong, I didn't get to join the organisation due to cronyism. Tak mainla kroni2..belajar pandai2 sudah). Though I was bonded for four years, I didn't view it as a death penalty as other scholars may think coz I really want to work there.

I was lucky that when I joined the organisation, my department is among the most important department in the organisation. I kept thinking to myself that this department will help me grow. The environment was so good where everyone who is anyone willing to help each other especially when they are new. This is important since working in a financial industry, you will need all the help that you can get. And this is especially important when you are just a young graduate coz you need people in the industry to take you seriously. I've been to a meeting with the industry where not a single person listen to what I have to say. They just prefer me to keep quiet and act all dolled-up. Over time, people have started to see me beyond my age and my face. They have started to listen to what I want to say.

However, life is not all nice and sunny as a banker. Especially since there are few changes in my department's structure, currently. The office politic is getting intense that you can cut the intensity with a knife. Sometimes it does bring me down especially when your work is not credited to you but to some other guy who sits in front of the PC all day long and Google Talking with his friends or busy playing with his Iphone 4 and Blackberry Torch that he just bought. This kind of people can even get away with murder coz they know how to sweet talk to their bosses without having to move their arse off the comfy chair. And for you, who have been doing all the work from 8 am to 8pm. The credit will never be given to you coz you are not the type who is going to go and suck-up to you boss. And coz you believe in doing the work with all your heart.

And the guy who didn't do anything always got the perks. For this guy, I wish you..Go to HELL!!! The time will come when everyone will know what you have done. Don't treat others as if they are stupid or they are you slave, coz believe me when I say that people start to realise your true colour. The clock is ticking, my friend..hehehe

Unifi...where art thou?

I received a called from TMnet on 23 October 2010 to convert my Streamyx account to Unifi. Ok, just to refresh everyone's mind, 23 October falls on Saturday and they called me at 6.30 p.m. Hahaha I was shocked when they told me they are from TMnet, coz I didn't even know that they do marketing on Saturday. Maybe sudah efficient sekarang...hehehe.. At that time I was packing my bag coz I have 1 week conference to attend. To cut the story short, they make an appointment to come at about 8p.m for me to fill up a form and for them to explain to me. Everything is settled within half an hour.

Fast forward to 1 month and 5 days letter, I am still using my Streamyx account and I didn't get the slightest idea of what has happened to my Unifi registration. Did I make any call to TMnet to ask about this? Hell yeah, I did. I called them twice but they said its the vendor that I supposed to be contacting. Try to called the vendor numerous time but end up in the mail-box. I dunno what have they done with the form that I filled. Maybe they used it as nasi-lemak wrapper. Who knows??

I'm still interested in using Unifi. Now all I need is to get a trusted vendor to help me to register or maybe de-register if I need to. Am so sick and tired of waiting for TMnet to response or continue to say that this is the vendor's fault. Yeah I get it, I registered through the vendor but you (TMnet) as the owner of the system should monitor your vendor coz their lack of efficiency is giving you the bad name, not that you don't already have one. I guess this is what consumer in Malaysia have to face on a daily basis. A crappy service from the either from the government or private organisation. And as a customer, we have to put a stop at this. But I just wonder how?

Creative

I need to start doing something new with my life. I should not just focus on my work and family. I need to explore the world. Alamak!!! How to?? I've been doing the same thing since forever. I wake up, go to school now work, come back, eat and sleep. I've been doing it for the last 25 years of my life. I feel like a robot. Gila la..macam mana ni. Lately, I feel that my life doesn't have any value. I don't feel like my existence in this world lead to nothing. I need to be creative. Haish, tu yang susah tu.

I remembered when I was little, there always a lot of things to do. I was engaged with many things such as my taekwando class, badminton training and lots of things. But now, nak keluar rumah pun macam susah. Haish. When talking about being creative, I always wanted to do something creatively. But to be honest, I am not creative. I can't draw, I can't write creatively or play any music. I used to be in a choir group. But that one is past memory. I have a very creative family. My mum and dad are creative. Their art works are to die for. My brothers and little sister are creative. They are a good writer, painter and even a good musician though they didn't pursue it professionally. But when it comes to me..I have na-da..Nothing. If I try to draw a tree, it would turn out to be something else. I have an acoustic guitar, a gift from my dad. But it has been sitting in the cupboard waiting to be played. Last year, I thought of enrolling myself to a guitar class. Sampai sekarang tak enroll lagi.

I realised that my work has started to take chunk of my time. And the impact is major on my life (I've been losing and gaining weight for the past 3 months...GILA!!!). I have been distancing myself with my friends coz I don't have the time to go out. All I want to do is sleep all day long. Hurm maybe I should start doing something new. Maybe I should enroll myself for Guitar lesson or maybe dancing (ehem...badan dah macam kayu ada hati plak)..

2011 is getting closer and I really need to think of something creative to do...I am open to any suggestion coz I really need to do this thing badly to keep my sanity intact. Tolonglah!!!

Bodoh Piang >.< !!!

Alamak dah lama rupanya tak update blog!! Dah abis bersawang. I promised myself to update the blog during fasting month but I was too busy and decided to do it during Raya and tadaaa!! Here I am...The reason I decided to write this blog today is because of this newspaper article that I bumped into while searching something on the net. It is on the abuse of Syafiah Humaira. I almost choked the gum that I was chewing when I read her mother's statement on the court's verdict...

“Saya tidak pernah marah dengan Fazli kerana dia tidak bersalah dan dia tidak ada niat untuk membunuh Syafiah. Saya tetap sayangkan Fazli kerana dia seorang penyayang dan dia sayangkan Syafiah,” katanya.

For Pete's sake!! What on earth does she think?? Saying things like that...The man killed your daughter, lady...How stupid do you have to be when you say that he's not guilty and that you still loves him??? What kind of mom are you?? Seriously, just by reading this article is enough to make me in a bad mood for the whole day...I learnt a new word during Raya that is bodoh piang...And this is a perfect word to use to a person like her. Weyh bodoh betul..Isn't all the evidences enough to tell you that the man is guilty?? Or atleast have some respect for your daughter. She died at his hand and you still dare to say you love him. How dare you?? Luckily I was working during the verdict or else memang mak budak ni nak kena penampar super duper juta-juta kali dengan moi..OMG, you just make my blood pressure goes up..Stupid woman!!

I don't understand why woman tend to act stupidly when they are in love. I have few of my girl friends doing the same thing. I remember during my Uni days, my room mate which I should refer as G were having a long distance relationship. G is a very pretty girl and was also doing well in her study. However, her boyfriend is such an ass. He would always find away to berated her by making nasty remarks such e.g she's fat, she's stupid and even dare to threaten her not to meet him if she didn't try to go on diet. The problem is she already having her ideal weight and there are few guys that are already chasing after her. She then decided to stop eating in order to get the weight that her bf wanted that is 43 kg for her 165cm which is ridiculous to me. After a week she look so pale and as if she would just collapse in a second. on the 7th day of her diet, she was crying when she received a phone call. It was her bf, and she was crying because the bf is now eating with his friends at McD when all she ate for the whole week is a cup of milk everyday. Gila tak?? We as her friend tried to ask her to stop her diet but she wouldn't listen until we decided to call her parent.

I also have a friend who decided to have sex with her bf just to proof to him that she really loves him. When she told me this, it is already too late and they have done it. The worst part it, after a few months the bf became very protective and abusive towards her. And he don't even bother about her parent. I remember once he punched her in front of her court yard. I was there and so does her family. And no one even dare to interfere when finally I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't let this guy abuse my friend so i threatened to call the police. He then decided to go away and my friend promised that she would not see him anymore. But after a day, they were back together. I was dumbfounded.

I always wonder..Does being in love means that you have to suffer?? If yes, I decided not to fall in love (hehehe I think I've decided on that 2 yrs ago)...My parent always thought me not to ever trust any guys and to be careful when I am around them.. I found that girls nowadays trust their bf more than they trust their parent. And some of them started to be promiscuous at a very young age. I remembered my parent and my 2 brothers being so protective that I can't even go and play at the playground which is only 10ft away from the house. I also remembered my dad almost make a police report when I went to the state library without telling him when I was 12..and the consequences?? I wasn't allowed to go out without a chaperon anymore. And until I was doing my degrees, I never go out at nights. And yet I was fine with that rule..

People might say that I have lived a boring life...Maybe there is some truth to that statement..However, I always found a way to enjoy my life without going out..I loves reading a book and I have dozens of pet which will always keeps me company. I have a wonderful siblings though at times I wish I was born being someone else's sibling..I don't bother about having bf during my high school and I only know what bf means when I enter uni..I have my first and my last bf there...I have no regrets. I've been living a perfect teenage life. I play sports (my parent enrolled me to martial art classes when I was 3 yrs old), I have a lot of friends and I have good grades..I don't need a bf to make me feel normal coz what is normal for me doesn't mean it is normal to you.

So ladies out there, please and I really mean it..Please have some respect to yourself..There's no one gonna take a good care on you rather than yourself. Don't live your life for other people, live it for yourself..Don't be like what we've been reading in the news like Syafiah's mother or any other women like which the only thing I can say is bodoh piang and I really think she suits the description. No one will respect you unless you start respecting yourself.

Practising self control

A month ago, I fell down and hurt myself (Internal bleeding in my stomach). Due to that reason I was given medication and my physician told me that I need to detox my system in order for the medicine to be working.She said that my body contains a lot of toxin and I need to get rid that off.

I have tried different kind of detoxification. Diet, fruit juice, apple cider vinegar...You name it and I've tried all that. I know without proper detoxification it won't work. Why detoxification wouldn't work on me?? The problem lies in my food consumption. I love to eat.

I eat almost everything I can see. I even had few food allergies since baby but it does not stop me from eating the food that causes my allergic reaction.I can't eat all kinds of dairy products. I get rashes, few swollen muscle and fever. But I am a meat eater (Hehehe not a man eater).. Though I do realise the consequences, I just can't help myself. I like challenges and for me eating the stuff I'm allergic to is a part of the challenge.

Ok back to my detoxification. I started my detoxification process on 14 July 2010. With determination that I can last this process for a week. And the very same day, I was reading the newspaper. There it is, in the front page an advertisement on the McDonald GCB. I'm not a big McD fan but the idea of having grilled-burger sound tempting to me. So there goes my first day of detox down the drain. Damn you Ronald!!

Part of the reason why I can't continue to stay in the detox program is Coca Cola. I am a Coke addict. I cannot function a day without at least a can of Coke. It started in the uni days where the vending machine is 15 steps away from my room in uni. I will waste my scholarship (not to forget my PAMA's) to buy can after can of Coke. I even had a friend said "Nasib baikla awak ni scholars xxx, mampu la nak beli Coke bertin-tin sehari"...hehehe..RM1.2O jer pun...Luckily due to my active schedule (read: hyperactive), the Coke never give much problems to my figure..hehehe sometimes adalah gak but I blame my food intake. I eat like a Hantu Raya :P

I tried practise self control. I have even tried to live without Coke or protein for few days (hehehe try nak jadi vegan). However, the red can and the smell of cooked meat always win. Without them my life won't be complete and I would act like a zombie. I was supposed to undergo another detox process again due to tonsil infection last week. The last Coke stats that I checked, I have managed to drink at least 5 bottles of 1.5 litre Coke. hehehe guess I failed again.

I was hoping that bulan Ramadhan will enable me to complete my detoxification process. Hahaha padahal bulan puasa la paling banyak nak crave pun...Adooyai...macam mana ni...My physician won't prescribe any medication until I complete my detox coz she thought it would be useless. My life without medication is like living in a sewer full of bacteria and virus..Haish!!

Open letter to Makcik

Caution: This post may sound a bit emotional. Dedicated to all my makciks where ever you are. No matter whether you in Kelantan, Kedah or Thailand.

Dear Mak Cik,

Its been approximate 10 years since we last saw each other, or maybe 15..I dunno coz I don't even keep track..I guess you are not that important to me or my life. You may be my mum or dad's sister but that is the only way we ever connected. You come so suddenly and acted like you know everything about me. Newsflash, you don't know me at all!! What's that about me not having boyfriend at the age of 25?? Which century have you been living in? And who are you to try to be my match maker??? I don't care if you have a guy at the corner of your housing estate. I don't even care if his single. I don't want to be involved in this absurd activity.

Makcik, stop pressuring my mum and dad. When you pressure Cik Nah, Cik In will double pressure..And when Cik In pressure, I don't think you want to sit around and see what happen.. And what is that about banker and the reason of me not having a boyfriend? Apa kaitan guys don't want to be my boyfriend sebab me being Banker??That is so shallow. Takkan la lelaki tu nak judge me because of my work. And if there is a guy like that, should I leave my job just because you think I need a husband. Peduli la if I came back home at 1 a.m. Who cares if I have to work on Saturday or Sunday. The last time I check my pay slip, you are not the one who's been paying me.

I also had enough of you condemning the way I dressed and they way I act. So what if I always wear pants to work?? So what if I don't wear baju kurung? I'm not asking you to pay my lifestyle nor did I ever ask you to pay my lunch. If a guy don't like the way I dressed, then too bad..I am what I am. I don't live in this world to please you or every one else. I live just for me.

Don't be afraid if I still don't have boyfriend at the age of 25 or I don't have a clue of what type of guy I like. I know that most of my cousins got married at the average age of 20 but I have my own vision and it does not have you inside it. I know you just being jealous coz I earned thousands of Ringgit a month while your daughter is waiting for her husband to give her money for clothing and milk formula while nursing her 4 and a half kids at the age of 23. I'm not gonna be like her. My parent spent a lot of money for me to get to where I am. I'm not wasting it to trivial things like that.

Makcik, I may one day have a husband or maybe I don't. If I do, I will try my best to be a good wife and mother and if I don't I will always be happy in what I got. Rather you keep on being worry about me, I would like to suggest that you start worry of the baby making machine that you have there. We don't want to add on the human population with limited resources, don't we??

Regards xoxo,
Your rebellious niece (^_^)

Domesticated me..meowww!!

Its been awhile since I last updated my blog. Busy is one thing, kemalasan is another.A lot of things happened in this past few weeks. Work is still the same. Biasala bank mana yang tak busy. Kerja kalau tak melimpah bukan namanya bank. I'm not going to rant about my work. Dah tak larat.

I learned the meaning of true independent this past week. I was left alone at home by my parent. Mummy overseas and dad with his homestay. So, I was left with 6 overweight cats. I never experienced being left alone before. Haha tetiba terasa seperti anak manjala pulak (read: memang pun, tapi tak macho kalau mengaku). Since I don't have packed social agenda, my daily routine basically waking up, feed the cats, go to work, come home, feed the cats and sleep.

Since mummy is not around, I've been entrusted to do the house chores. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I seldom do the houseworks. Usually mummy or our housekeeper will do it. So, mummy is not around and since the housekeeper only come during weekend and when mummy is around, I have to do the cleaning, cooking and what not. Seriously rasa insaf babe. huhuhu. Last sunday, being a good daughter as I always does, I decided to do all the cleaning by myself. No housekeeper, please. Nak belajar jadi surirumah. So I washed all the clothes and decided to hang them. My dryer was quite high and though I'm quite tall, I still need to stand on a stool to hang the clothes. Suddenly, without realizing that the stool is not stable I climbed to hang the washed clothes. Out of sudden the stool became shaky and I fell down to the floor with my stomach hitting the stool. Hard. Rasa senak la kejap but realising how stupid it is, I laughed at myself. First attempt nak jadi surirumah...FAILED!!!

1 and a half day later, I had a very bad stomachache and are nauseating. Whatever I ate will definitely go out. I figured there is something wrong due to the big fall and decided to go to clinic. True enough after an ultrasound, the doctor found a small bleeding and an infection. That is why my stomach became swollen. I look like 3 months pregnant. There goes all the sexiness...Haish. I was given an injection and was told to take everything slow. I have to walk slow, talk slow and not to laugh. Ayat terakhir doktor "Jangan lasak-lasak sangat" and ironically, I accidentally hit the door on the way out...And the doctor was laughing hard.

Mummy didn't know about this incident. I only told daddy and he was worried at first pastu a few minutes later dia gelak..Cess sampai hati. I'm in real pain. I guess this whole domestic life is not for me. Hahaha I should stay with what I was meant to do that is to be a banker. If I ever get married, I might need to hire a maid. I think this incident will scarred me for life.Hehehe (^_^)

Right now I have to control everything. I cannot laugh, cannot jump around or even drink coke cola which is my staple diet..huhu..But knowing me, I have kantoi with non stop laughing and jumping. Coke jer tak dapat minum sebab banyak sangat doktor tak bertauliah..Dang!!

I never thought that house chores is hazardous. I blamed my mummy for not warning me at the first place. Hahaha lagi nak derhaka. Mummy, you better get me the handbag that I wanted..hehehe..I have total respect to all housewives. How can they do all these chores. It should be featured in the episode of the "Dirty Job". Mike Rowe, I dare you to be a housewife for a day. heee..

I'm on healing mode right now. Since stomach still swelling, even dressing to work is an effort. Tengah nak fikir what should I wear to cover my stomach. Haish. Idea,please...