Practising self control

A month ago, I fell down and hurt myself (Internal bleeding in my stomach). Due to that reason I was given medication and my physician told me that I need to detox my system in order for the medicine to be working.She said that my body contains a lot of toxin and I need to get rid that off.

I have tried different kind of detoxification. Diet, fruit juice, apple cider vinegar...You name it and I've tried all that. I know without proper detoxification it won't work. Why detoxification wouldn't work on me?? The problem lies in my food consumption. I love to eat.

I eat almost everything I can see. I even had few food allergies since baby but it does not stop me from eating the food that causes my allergic reaction.I can't eat all kinds of dairy products. I get rashes, few swollen muscle and fever. But I am a meat eater (Hehehe not a man eater).. Though I do realise the consequences, I just can't help myself. I like challenges and for me eating the stuff I'm allergic to is a part of the challenge.

Ok back to my detoxification. I started my detoxification process on 14 July 2010. With determination that I can last this process for a week. And the very same day, I was reading the newspaper. There it is, in the front page an advertisement on the McDonald GCB. I'm not a big McD fan but the idea of having grilled-burger sound tempting to me. So there goes my first day of detox down the drain. Damn you Ronald!!

Part of the reason why I can't continue to stay in the detox program is Coca Cola. I am a Coke addict. I cannot function a day without at least a can of Coke. It started in the uni days where the vending machine is 15 steps away from my room in uni. I will waste my scholarship (not to forget my PAMA's) to buy can after can of Coke. I even had a friend said "Nasib baikla awak ni scholars xxx, mampu la nak beli Coke bertin-tin sehari"...hehehe..RM1.2O jer pun...Luckily due to my active schedule (read: hyperactive), the Coke never give much problems to my figure..hehehe sometimes adalah gak but I blame my food intake. I eat like a Hantu Raya :P

I tried practise self control. I have even tried to live without Coke or protein for few days (hehehe try nak jadi vegan). However, the red can and the smell of cooked meat always win. Without them my life won't be complete and I would act like a zombie. I was supposed to undergo another detox process again due to tonsil infection last week. The last Coke stats that I checked, I have managed to drink at least 5 bottles of 1.5 litre Coke. hehehe guess I failed again.

I was hoping that bulan Ramadhan will enable me to complete my detoxification process. Hahaha padahal bulan puasa la paling banyak nak crave pun...Adooyai...macam mana ni...My physician won't prescribe any medication until I complete my detox coz she thought it would be useless. My life without medication is like living in a sewer full of bacteria and virus..Haish!!

Open letter to Makcik

Caution: This post may sound a bit emotional. Dedicated to all my makciks where ever you are. No matter whether you in Kelantan, Kedah or Thailand.

Dear Mak Cik,

Its been approximate 10 years since we last saw each other, or maybe 15..I dunno coz I don't even keep track..I guess you are not that important to me or my life. You may be my mum or dad's sister but that is the only way we ever connected. You come so suddenly and acted like you know everything about me. Newsflash, you don't know me at all!! What's that about me not having boyfriend at the age of 25?? Which century have you been living in? And who are you to try to be my match maker??? I don't care if you have a guy at the corner of your housing estate. I don't even care if his single. I don't want to be involved in this absurd activity.

Makcik, stop pressuring my mum and dad. When you pressure Cik Nah, Cik In will double pressure..And when Cik In pressure, I don't think you want to sit around and see what happen.. And what is that about banker and the reason of me not having a boyfriend? Apa kaitan guys don't want to be my boyfriend sebab me being Banker??That is so shallow. Takkan la lelaki tu nak judge me because of my work. And if there is a guy like that, should I leave my job just because you think I need a husband. Peduli la if I came back home at 1 a.m. Who cares if I have to work on Saturday or Sunday. The last time I check my pay slip, you are not the one who's been paying me.

I also had enough of you condemning the way I dressed and they way I act. So what if I always wear pants to work?? So what if I don't wear baju kurung? I'm not asking you to pay my lifestyle nor did I ever ask you to pay my lunch. If a guy don't like the way I dressed, then too bad..I am what I am. I don't live in this world to please you or every one else. I live just for me.

Don't be afraid if I still don't have boyfriend at the age of 25 or I don't have a clue of what type of guy I like. I know that most of my cousins got married at the average age of 20 but I have my own vision and it does not have you inside it. I know you just being jealous coz I earned thousands of Ringgit a month while your daughter is waiting for her husband to give her money for clothing and milk formula while nursing her 4 and a half kids at the age of 23. I'm not gonna be like her. My parent spent a lot of money for me to get to where I am. I'm not wasting it to trivial things like that.

Makcik, I may one day have a husband or maybe I don't. If I do, I will try my best to be a good wife and mother and if I don't I will always be happy in what I got. Rather you keep on being worry about me, I would like to suggest that you start worry of the baby making machine that you have there. We don't want to add on the human population with limited resources, don't we??

Regards xoxo,
Your rebellious niece (^_^)